... body drugs ...

Early on a Saturday morning, two young men are chatting and sipping coffee.

"So what do you take?"
"I don't know. I go to the Co-Op and pick up a few things."
"Do you like it?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, how do you know if it works? I mean it takes some time."
"But it's kind of fun to see what it can do to your body."
"It's kind of like an artist, taking stuff to shape your body."
"Sure."
"Yeah, but it can go too far."
"I'd like to do the bodybuilding shows just to get a sponsor."
"That's hard. Have you met my friend S---? She's like five one and just ripped. She works like crazy."
"I kind of like Tai Chi, so maybe I'll just do that. I got to keep my job while I go to culinary school. I like Kempo too. See, this is why I like going to coffee shops. It's good to talk."

--

Thieves Like Us - Drugs in my Body

... t-shirt ...

Palo Alto, CA - Two Stanford girls

#1, "Look at that. He's got a Pinterest t-shirt."
#2, "I want one."
#1, "The guy or the t-shirt?"
#2, "I wonder if he works there."

***

Because secretly, you always wondered how ...



Ben Folds, Song for the Dumped (nsfw) ... a song about a guy who wants his t-shirt returned ... among other things ....

... empower ...

There's a tutor trying to help an adult learn to read and write, and she's talking to him about finding direct objects.

For the love of all that is good and holy, help him with something that matters to him in his life ... Maybe help him read a children's book that he'd like to read to his kids at night. Maybe help him write a note to tell someone how he really feels. Maybe help him with things at his job or to be more applicable for a better job.

Direct objects can wait.

--
Learning is Power, produced by storiesthatmove.com


--

The Power of Words
Music by: Giles Lamb http://www.gileslamb.com
Filmed by www.redsnappa.com Director Seth Gardner

... waiting in line ...

... it is before 7am, and there's a guy at the coffee shop who is trying to pick up the nurse waiting in line by asking her if she can prescribe him some drugs. When that doesn't work, he says that he's already made his fortune, retired, and hitch hiked his way all the way to Pennsylvania, where he was chased by black bears ...


****

Kermit on waiting in line



Huey Lewis & the News with the Tower of Power, 1985, "I Want a New Drug"

... understanding ...

It's been awhile since I posted (work got busy, I hit the road for a bit), but I woke up yesterday, and I'm back in town. I was running around doing errands, and I hit a coffee shop I rarely go to. It was a Saturday morning, about 9 am, and once I grabbed my tea and ordered a bite to eat, I found myself sitting near four men who were older and engaged in a bible study conversation. Their conversation floated from scripture to the presidential election to homosexuality.

Their conversation bothered me. Quite a bit.

I haven't been able to step back and make too much sense of it, and I suppose writing about it here is some small step in making sense of it. So, forgive the visibility of my thinking here.

The line through their conversation was something like this ...  a) homosexuality is a sin, b) acceptance of homosexuality means that you accept sin, c) they weren't homophobic but were, instead, the victims of other people's intolerance of their religious beliefs, and d) they didn't want immoral people leading or teaching their grandkids. "There's a humanistic righteousness that's out there that isn't righteous at all," one of them proclaimed.

Then they cracked open their bibles and dug into Proverbs.

My initial thought was that it must be so exhausting to live life with the kind of fear that these men seemed to share. And that's the thing, I'm not sure exactly what they would say they are afraid of ... I think it might be that they see their duty is to make the world work in a way that is aligned with their religious beliefs and interpretations, and their cause slipping away. Maybe they're afraid of change. Maybe they're afraid of the unknown. Maybe they're afraid of what is different than themselves. I'm not sure, and I wish I would have asked them.

I mentioned this conversation on my facebook page yesterday, and a friend shared this link to William Saleten's review of The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt. Some nuggets from the review:

To the question many people ask about politics — Why doesn’t the other side listen to reason? — Haidt replies: We were never designed to listen to reason. When you ask people moral questions, time their responses and scan their brains, their answers and brain activation patterns indicate that they reach conclusions quickly and produce reasons later only to justify what they’ve decided.

***

Our task, then, is to organize society so that reason and intuition interact in healthy ways. Haidt’s research suggests several broad guidelines. First, we need to help citizens develop sympathetic relationships so that they seek to understand one another instead of using reason to parry opposing views. Second, we need to create time for contemplation. Research shows that two minutes of reflection on a good argument can change a person’s mind. Third, we need to break up our ideological segregation. From 1976 to 2008, the proportion of Americans living in highly partisan counties increased from 27 percent to 48 percent. The Internet exacerbates this problem by helping each user find evidence that supports his views.

It's this third point - breaking up our ideological segregation - that seemed to be challenged when I sat down yesterday: I was in a new place listening to people who understand the world differently than me. And, I don't understand them. Saleten writes of one of Haidt's points, "Liberals don’t understand conservative values. And they can’t recognize this failing, because they’re so convinced of their rationality, open-mindedness and enlightenment." Despite going to church, despite seeing myself as religious, despite spending my entire professional career in public institutions, despite living in a wide range of places with different beliefs ... I am troubled not only by what these men were saying in such a public place, but also that I am not sure how I can understand them. Or, how I can help them understand people like me who disagree with them.

I don't have any poignant point to make here. Just questions and curiosity. Did these men really never meet any family and friends who were gay? If so, how could they not see them as real people with real needs and real contributions to make?

And, maybe that's it. Maybe I'm just skeptical and distrusting of people who believe the world is a rigid, black or white, up or down, right or left kind of place. I see fluid, gray, middle ground everywhere I go. I see people navigating the tension between being hopeful and fearful. I see a world where people are just trying to figure it out. I want a world where people can pursue their own interests, because when that happens we all benefit.

Perhaps this sounds Polyanna-ish. I don't care. I wonder, how do people learn to understand one another and, in turn, how does that understanding help them to make decisions together? I am trying to imagine what my conversation with them would be like. I'm not sure it would even be a conversation, maybe just people talking near and past one another. I'm left with questions and a sadness.

*****
Nick Lowe on Jools Holland, "What's so Funny about Peace, Love, and Understanding"

... hands ...

I have not been in coffee shops too much lately for a variety of reasons; however, I have been out and about town. Today I was waiting at a stop light when a four-door purple Ford Fiesta pulled up beside me. I looked over and could hardly see the driver, except for her white hair. Her hands were precisely at 10 and 2 o'clock on the steering wheel, and she waited in the left turn lane. She was short or petite in the way that elderly seem to be. I tried to imagine her point of view, because her head did not seem to be much higher than the steering wheel. I'm pretty sure that she had to look through the gap of the steering wheel in order to see the traffic. When the light turned green, she pulled away slowly, and I noticed that she had a bumper sticker for the classic rock station in town.

She reminded me of a woman I once knew, Althea, who had these large, warm, soft hands. I knew Althea from the time when I volunteered at a Hospice House. Each week I would visit Althea, and each week I would have to introduce myself. The house where she lived was the temporary home for six or seven other elderly people, and they mostly dealt with Alzheimer's. Althea and I would "walk around the house," which basically meant walking from the kitchen table to the couch to the window that looked out into the neighborhood. Although the "walk" covered only about 30 feet in total, it took most of the hour that I was there. She walked slowly, one foot moving forward in inches, followed by the next few inches.

The thing I learned from Althea (and from others there) was that she was just happy to have someone be with her. She didn't care about what I did as a job. She didn't care about where I was from. She didn't care about any accomplishments I might have attained in my life. She was just glad that I was there. To see her. To talk with her. To walk with her. To let her hold my hand. She was just so thankful, which made any worry that I might have had in my life slip away, at least for the time I was with her.

As I watched the purple Ford Fiesta move slowly away, I thought about Althea and her slow moving walks. Being with the elderly, at least for me, makes me slow down. I wondered who the white-haired lady was going to see. I wonder who she appreciates enough to climb into the car and to peek through a steering wheel to go see.

I wonder whose hand she is going to hold.

---
Sarah Kay, "Hands" on Def Poetry

... meeting ...

In a coffee shop on a college campus, two female undergrads wait.

"So he says to me, 'You owe me: I got you the number for TWO guys.' "

Minutes later, "So wait, are we meeting the guy you like, the guy who got you the number, or the guy who is just your friend?"

"He just texted. We need to meet him out front."

They leave to meet him.

... gossip in the a.m. ...

"... 6:15 am, a quiet coffee shop, dark outside, and me quietly writing when 8 women wearing workout clothes, frosted hair, and big, chunky rocks on their fingers walk in, chatting away. I've decided that my next story will be about the one woman who would not participate in their one-upsmanship storytelling and left early. She will be the hero of my story and things will not go well for the gossip queens of the morning ..." -me on September 29, 2009
---
The Gossip, "Standing in the Way of Control." That's Beth Ditto rocking out. 

... drug eating ...

"... got a guy here talking about how his last relationship is all a blur as he was 'eating a lot of drugs.' That's a pickup if I've ever heard one!" - lw in portland, or

... custody ...

       It's never easy to watch the "custody of kids" exchange. Last night, two playful young boys were reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and laughing with their mom. She was a fit woman - not the body builder type, more like the Linda Hamilton in Terminator II type. She had a tattoo that wrapped around the small of her back, some major league dreadlocks, and an easy smile with her boys. They were at the shop for a good ten minutes, but she kept looking out the window as she sat in the way that hoops coaches do when they are on the bench - elbows on the knees, leaning forward, eyes attentive. Then, one of the boys walked toward her, turned around to look out the window, and leaned back into her.

"Oh look," she pointed out the window.
He jumped a little. Then they laughed together. She got him.
The little guy then tried to get her a couple of times.

When the dad came in wearing his business suit and a crew cut, he hugged the two boys. She looked down at her coffee. She took a deep breath. Exhaled. The adults didn't talk.

All three guys started toward the door, laughing a little bit to one another. She followed.

It's not easy.

At all.

---
Trailers for Bye Bye Love (1995) ... "... the new American ritual, the Friday night exchange of custody ..." -Dr. David Townsend (Rob Reiner)