... meeting ...

In a coffee shop on a college campus, two female undergrads wait.

"So he says to me, 'You owe me: I got you the number for TWO guys.' "

Minutes later, "So wait, are we meeting the guy you like, the guy who got you the number, or the guy who is just your friend?"

"He just texted. We need to meet him out front."

They leave to meet him.

... opportunities ...

One of the things about spending time in public places, like coffeeshops, is that you can see the same people regularly. Sometimes you might talk to them. Other times you might notice they simply want to be alone. You have to "read" the way in which others seem to be - read their body language, read their facial expressions, read their eyes. If someone had been reading me today, they would have left me alone - headphones on, my head being propped up by both hands as I stared down at the papers in front of me, my eyes wandering out the window occasionally to notice the wind whipping up and causing the drops of rain to move in sideways waves. You would have seen me surrounded by a whole host of people coming in and out of the shop, but me not even noticing them.

Yet, when you go to a public place often and regularly enough, other regulars might sense you need a kind word or an ear to vent to. Today, a young couple I see often was working in the shop. We waved a hello and did a quick nod of acknowledgement when I snagged my drink, but then I was off to my table and my own little world. As they left the shop, they had to walk past me, "How are you doing?" "How was that project you were working on?" and more followed for a good 15 minutes. During that conversation we talked about the creative process, about collaboration, about the importance of downtime, about interactive narratives, about the next projects and vision we have for ourselves. It was a quick, but needed break. It was a chance to think beyond myself and my own thoughts. It was a chance to connect.

I should mention here that they are a married couple in their mid- to late-20s, and they have their own graphic design business. For awhile they were working on the graphics for a band's music video. For another period of time they were working on graphics for a video game. Today they were brainstorming and spitballing ideas for future projects - more corporate projects - gigs that will help them sustain their business and, you know, help to pay for food and clothes and a home.

This post isn't a quick one, nor does it have some snappy overheard snippet. Instead, I simply want to acknowledge that public places, like coffee shops, create opportunities - even brief ones - for strangers to look out for one another. I want to acknowledge that routines can add up to something more than what they appear to be in the moment. I simply want to say thanks to that couple for the generosity they shared in taking a few minutes to check in with me, a guy who sits a couple of tables away from time-to-time.

--
Maggie and Will in Stranger than Fiction

... vulture ...

As I watch my battery drain and die a quicker death than I had hoped for, I wait for the man who is writing with pen and paper to move from the table nearest the outlet.

--
John Mayer, "Vultures" at the Nokia Theatre, Los Angeles, 12.8.2007

... ryans ...

On Friday in the late afternoon, five women in their late 20s / early 30s are seated in a small circle. Two on the couch, three in chairs. One is holding a pink gift bag, and I'm assuming it was her birthday. Each of them are wearing wedding rings, and they are finishing up their drinks. I sit at a table near them to read and rewrite. As they get up to leave, I hear the following:

Woman #1, "Oh, have fun tonight meeting up with Ryan. I haven't seen him in a long time."
Woman #2, "I will."
Woman #1, "Mention my name. I used to sneak into his house. Oh, it wasn't like that. No. I dated his brother in high school, and my friend used to date him." She chuckles to herself.
Woman #2, "Really?"
Woman #1, "We have some stories. Mention my name."
Woman #3, "Well, any Ryan I've ever met is hot. Like so hot."
Woman #1, "Yeah. He's beautiful."

---
Some Ryan performances I'm good with ...

Amy Ryan in The Wire (it's The Wire, so you know, some f-bombs drop)


Amy Ryan in The Office


and here's Ryan Adams on Letterman


and here's a link to one of Meg Ryan's scenes In the Land of Women. I can't embed it, but I think it's some of her stronger work and I know far too many people going through something similar as her character, so I share with a link.

And because today pitchers and catchers report to spring training, here is Mr. Ernie Harwell calling a Nolan Ryan no-hitter in 1973. This was his second no-hitter within a two month span (May 15, 1973 and this game on July 15, 1973). He threw five more in his career.

... gossip in the a.m. ...

"... 6:15 am, a quiet coffee shop, dark outside, and me quietly writing when 8 women wearing workout clothes, frosted hair, and big, chunky rocks on their fingers walk in, chatting away. I've decided that my next story will be about the one woman who would not participate in their one-upsmanship storytelling and left early. She will be the hero of my story and things will not go well for the gossip queens of the morning ..." -me on September 29, 2009
---
The Gossip, "Standing in the Way of Control." That's Beth Ditto rocking out. 

... drug eating ...

"... got a guy here talking about how his last relationship is all a blur as he was 'eating a lot of drugs.' That's a pickup if I've ever heard one!" - lw in portland, or

... custody ...

       It's never easy to watch the "custody of kids" exchange. Last night, two playful young boys were reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and laughing with their mom. She was a fit woman - not the body builder type, more like the Linda Hamilton in Terminator II type. She had a tattoo that wrapped around the small of her back, some major league dreadlocks, and an easy smile with her boys. They were at the shop for a good ten minutes, but she kept looking out the window as she sat in the way that hoops coaches do when they are on the bench - elbows on the knees, leaning forward, eyes attentive. Then, one of the boys walked toward her, turned around to look out the window, and leaned back into her.

"Oh look," she pointed out the window.
He jumped a little. Then they laughed together. She got him.
The little guy then tried to get her a couple of times.

When the dad came in wearing his business suit and a crew cut, he hugged the two boys. She looked down at her coffee. She took a deep breath. Exhaled. The adults didn't talk.

All three guys started toward the door, laughing a little bit to one another. She followed.

It's not easy.

At all.

---
Trailers for Bye Bye Love (1995) ... "... the new American ritual, the Friday night exchange of custody ..." -Dr. David Townsend (Rob Reiner)

... tunes ...

"... no self-respecting coffeeshop should play music that was playing at swimming pools and roller rinks in the mid-1980s..." - jb, 2.13.12 on his fb page and in tempe, az

Just guessing...

(technically this one would be late 80s, right?)

... words ...

        Sitting next to me in the coffeeshop this afternoon are two people who are looking closely at a laptop screen. The guy is in a gray business suit, wearing a purple shirt and bright blue socks, while the woman has on these thick glasses. She's eating tomato basil soup, and he's eating a grilled cheese. As they eat, they are reading his resume and a cover letter. She's working hard to help him clarify his language. "Did you collaborate with him or did you lead the project?" ... "Was it for the Chamber or for some other organization?" ... "What is it you want them to remember about you - in one sentence?"

It reminded me of a radiolab episode on "words" and the power of language. Here's the podcast of the episode that asks, "What do words do for us? Are they necessary? Can you live with out them? Can you think without them? Can you dream without them?" It's the story behind this book, A Man Without Words in which Susan Schaller meets a 27 year old man who "doesn't have language."

And here's the companion video that Will Hoffman and Daniel Mercadante directed and sponsored by Radiolab and NPR:

... on valentine's...

"I live my daydreams in music." -- Albert Einstein


... video by Carlos Lascano and music by sigur ros ...

radiolab presents will hoffman's "moments"

... will hoffman pays attention ...

... sponsors ...

... today at the coffeeshop I saw a teenager meeting her NA sponsor for the first time  ... heart-breaking to think about what she must have gone through at such a young age to get to this point, but hopeful knowing that people do pay it forward and support one another.


... i didn't listen, because it just seemed so private and too intimate of a moment ...